FAIRYMOUNT (vb., n.)
Polite word
for buggery.
FARDUCKMANTON (n. archaic)
An
ancient edict, mysteriously omitted from the Domesday Book, requiring that the
feeding of fowl on village ponds should be carried out equitably.
FARNHAM (n.)
The feeling you get at
about four o'clock in the afternoon when you haven't got enough done.
FARRANCASSIDY (n.)
A long and
ultimately unsuccessful attempt to undo someone's bra.
FEAKLE (vb.)
To make facial
expressions similar to those that old gentlemen make to young girls in the
playground.
FINUGE (vb.)
In any division of
foodstuffs equally between several people, to give yourself the extra slice left
over.
FIUNARY (n.)
The safe place you put
something and then forget where it was.
FLIMBY (n.)
One of those irritating
handle-less slippery translucent plastic bags you get in supermarkets which, no
matter how you hold them, always contrive to let something fall out.
FLODIGARRY (n. Scots)
An
ankle-length gaberdine or oilskin tarpaulin worn by deep-sea herring fishermen
in Arbroath and publicans in Glasgow.
FOINDLE (vb.)
To queue-jump very
discreetly by working one's way up the line without being spotted doing so.
FORSINAIN (n. archaic)
The right of
the lord of the manor to molest dwarves on their birthdays.
FOVANT (n.)
A taxi driver's gesture, a
raised hand pointed out of the window which purports to mean 'thank you' and
actually means 'fuck off out of my way'.
FRADDAM (n.)
The small awkward-shaped
piece of cheese which remains after grating a large regular-shaped piece of
cheese and enables you to cut your fingers.
FRAMLINGHAM (n.)
A kind of
burglar alarm in common usage. It is cunningly designed so that it can ring at
full volume in the street without apparently disturbing anyone.
Other types
of framlinghams are burglar alarms fitted to business premises in residential
areas, which go off as a matter of regular routine at 5.31 p.m. on a Friday
evening and do not get turned off till 9.20 a.m. on Monday morning.
FRANT (n.)
Measure. The legal minimum
distance between two trains on the District and Circle lines of the London
Underground. A frant, which must be not less than 122 chains (or 8 leagues)
long, is not connected in any waywith the adjective 'frantic' which comes to us
by a completely different route (as indeed do the trains).
FRATING GREEN (adj.)
The
shade of green which is supposed to make you feel comfortable in hospitals,
industrious in schools and uneasy in police stations.
FRIMLEY (n.)
Exaggerated carefree
saunter adopted by Norman Wisdom as an immediate prelude to dropping down an
open manhole.
FRING (n.)
The noise made by a light
bulb which has just shone its last.
FROLESWORTH (n.)
Measure. The
minimum time it is necessary to spend frowning in deep concentration at each
picture in an art gallery in order that everyone else doesn't think you're a
complete moron.
FROSSES (pl. n.)
The lecherous looks
exchanged between sixteen-year-olds at a party given by someone's parents.
FULKING (participial vb.)
Pretending
not to be in when the carol-singers come round.