PABBAY (n., vb.)
(Fencing term.) The
play, or manoeuvre, where one swordsman leaps on to the table and pulls the
battleaxe off the wall.
PANT-Y-WACCO (adj.)
The final
state of mind of a retired colonel before they come to take him away.
PAPCASTLE (n.)
Something drawn or
modelled by a small child which you are supposed to know what it is.
PAPPLE (vb.)
To do what babies do to
soup with their spoons.
PAPWORTH EVERARD
(n.)
Technical term for the third take of an orgasm scene during the making
of a pornographic film.
PELUTHO (n.)
A South American ball
game. The balls are whacked against a brick wall with a stout wooden bat until
the prisoner confesses.
PENGE (n.)
The expanding slotted arm on
which a cuckoo comes out of a cuckoo clock.
PEN TRE-TAFARN-Y-FEDW
(n.)
Welsh word which literally translates as
'leaking-biro-by-the-glass-hole-of-the-clerk-of-the-bank-has-been
taken-to-another-place-leaving-only-the-special-inkwell-and-three
inches-of-tin-chain'.
PEORIA (n.)
The fear of peeling too
few potatoes.
PERCYHORNER (n.)
(English
public-school slang.) A prefect whose duty it is to surprise new boys at the
urinal and humiliate them in a manner of his choosing.
PERRANZABULOE (n.)
One of those
spray things used to wet ironing with.
PEVENSEY (n. archaic)
The right to
collect shingle from the king's foreshore.
PIDDLETRENTHIDE (n.)
A
trouser stain caused by a wimbledon
(q v.). Not to be confused with a botley (q.v.).
PIMLICO (n.)
Small odd-shaped piece
of plastic or curious metal component found in the bottom of kitchen
rummage-drawer when spring-cleaning or looking for Sellotape.
PIMPERNE (n.)
One of those rubber
nodules found on the underneath side of a lavatory seat.
PITLOCHRY (n.)
The background
gurgling noise heard in Wimpy Bars caused by people trying to get the last
bubbles out of their milkshakes by slurping loudly through their straws.
PITSLIGO (n.)
Part of traditional
mating rite. During the first hot day of spring, all the men in the tube start
giving up their seats to ladies and straphanging. The purpose of pitsligo is for
them to demonstrate their manhood by displaying the wet patches under their
arms.
PLEELEY (adj.)
Descriptive of a drunk
person's attempts to be endearing.
PLYMOUTH (vb.)
To relate an amusing
story to someone without remembering that it was they who told it to you in the
first place.
PLYMPTON (n.)
The (pointless) knob
on top of a war memorial.
PODE HOLE (n.)
A hole drilled in
chipboard lavatory walls by homosexuals for any one of a number of purposes.
POGES (pl. n.)
The lumps of dry powder
that remain after cooking a packet soup.
POLBATHIC (adj.)
Gifted with
ability to manipulate taps using only the feet.
POLLOCH (n.)
One of those tiny
ribbed-plastic and aluminium foil tubs of milk served on trains enabling you to
carry one safely back to your compartment where you can spill the contents all
over your legs in comfort trying to get the bloody thing open.
POLPERRO (n.)
A polperro is the
ball, or muff, of soggy hair found clinging to bath overflow-holes.
POONA (n.)
Satisfied grunting noise
made when sitting back after a good meal.
POTT SHRIGLEY (n.)
Dried
remains of a week-old casserole, eaten when extremely drunk at two a.m.
PUDSEY (n.)
The curious-shaped flat
wads of dough left on a kitchen table after someone has been cutting scones out
of it.