Before you go any further let me assure you of certain facts and dispel any fears you may have.

1. This will not cost you the earth
2. Hackers will not send you viruses
3. No-one will take money out of your bank account*

The reason for 1 & 2 is, you, dear reader despite what your mother, wife, life partner or significant other may have told you, are not that interesting, there is nothing in your

‘Never used, just sits there collecting dust, occasionally I write a letter on it’

computer of any interest to anyone but the seriously starved of entertainment. Although I do recommend buying some anti-virus software about £20-£30 from any computer shop.

3, on the other hand is of concern, but only a small concern, let me explain.

Inside your Computer is what we call a modem, this is basically a telephone for your computer, when we want to connect to the internet it dials up to an ISP (Internet Service Provider e.g.: Freeserve, BT, IC24, Lineone, ntl, AOL, ect.) using this modem and from there you can go on to the Internet.

*Of course there is the possibility that you, dear reader are part of the country’s population that fall under the demographic of the ‘Terminally Bloody Stupid’ and think that giving your credit card details to a 16 year old, blonde nymphet by the name of Sophie that you met in a chat room, is a good idea. If that is the case you deserve everything you get and have my sympathy.